As I sat on the plane from Paris back to Hong Kong, I was feeling unusually broody. After two weeks in London, Paris and Val D'isere with various friends and family and all their angelic children, I was starting to warm to the idea of creating my own little saintly darlings.
My friends in London seem to have all produced babies that don't cry and children that say please and thank you before you've even given them anything. My new French siblings in-law have managed to perform a similar miracle which I witnessed when all 9 of their offspring between the ages of 3 and 9, were left to silently draw and play throughout our entire Christmas lunch and post perennial drinking. We then went skiing with more siblings-in laws and their various French friends who, despite having 3 kids each, seemed to live their lives quite independently of them, thanks to ski school and firm discipline.
So, given this rather encouraging generation of children (and parents?), who wouldn't think that having one's own might be a good idea? But then it only takes the two little buggers and their role model of a mother behind you on the British Airways plane to Heathrow to remind you that maybe we don't need to be in such a hurry afterall...
Liam: "Maaaaaaaaaaaammm, look, look, we're going doooooooooooooowwwwwwn. Look mum, there's a fire on the wing. look. look. look."
Note increasing panic in the cabin.
Mum: "Stop it, Liam."
Liam: "But look, the buses are getting bigga and evryfink. Oh look, look!"
Liam kicks the back of my seat enthusiastically.
Rosie: "Pull on the red strap if there's an emergency. Mum, should we pull on vis?"
Mum: "Ssshhh, Rosie."
Liam: "Pull on the red strap if you hate your sister!"
Rosie: "Pull on the red strap if you hate your bother! Yaaaayyyy!!!!"
Mum: "Rosie, I've had enuf. You've been at it the whole flight. I've had it and so has everyone else"
Well, that's one way to successfully quell any maternal instincts.
This post was written on the Cathay Pacific lounge computer in Heathrow while munching on "English Cheddar and Red Onion Crisps". Font might be off as well as everything else.