Rock 'n' Roll

Who needs lipstick when you have a Gretsch?

Everyone knows that the key to male success with the other sex (or anyone really) is to stand somewhere looking lost with one of the following: a baby, a dog or a broken leg. Today I discovered a similar accessory for women - the guitar.

As I traipsed through JFK airport last night with a guitar case in one hand and my suitcase in the other, I realised the unleashed potential of musical instruments in the art of seduction. What was I doing with a guitar, one may ask. The short story is I was earning brownie points with T by offering to buy him a guitar and schleping it back to Hong Kong for him. Points have been earned and have been stashed away for later use when nice shoes, bags and back rubs are needed.

Anyway, as I walked through the airport, I noticed that all eyes zoomed in on the guitar case. I could see them lighting up and then glazing over, as they dreamt of rock concerts, fame and fortunes. I could also see them Photoshopping me into whatever musical icon they revered.

The guitar case not only got me a whole lot of unnecessary attention, but its "beer goggle" effect on my persona also got me past a bunch of red tape about 'not-being-allowed-fly-with-guitars-in-the-cabin' or something. An outburst of a few celebrity tears, and I was through, guitar and all.

Rock 'n' Roll, baby.

What's the point?

Much to T's despair, I'm a Lady Gaga fan. I wouldn't go as far to say I'm a "Little Monster" but when I received the "exclusive priority booking invitation to all American Express holders" to buy advanced tickets to her Hong Kong concert, I couldn't resist.

But here's the problem. What's the point of sending out an "exclusive priority booking invitation to all American Express holders" if you're not going to prepare your call centre and website for the hoards of American Express holders who are clambering on top of one another to get their tickets??

I mean, why bother if all Amex has achieved through their "exclusive invitation" is to seriously p** me off. How many times can I refresh their overloaded website? How many times can I call their busy call centre? If you want to lose a customer, here's how to do it: over promise. under deliver.

Thanks, Amex.

One very annoyed customer.

Tao Bao

Bertoia chair

This is it! We have finally tapped into the art of Chinese bargain online shopping! ebay and Amazon are now things of the past thanks to Tao Bao. For those of you who don't know it, Tao Bao is the biggest online shopping site in Asia. You can buy anything on it, quite literally, and at any price point.

After starting our furniture hunting for our new apartment, we quickly realised there are two types of furniture shops in Hong Kong: IKEA and overpriced rip off millionaire shops for the terribly rich or terribly unimaginative. So, once we'd bought every possible item at IKEA (think glasses and jam jars), we then needed to find something with a bit of "charm" without the price tag. In comes Tao Bao - home of all trendy furniture knock-offs that have been lovingly made in China.

Z lamp care of Tao Bao

The funny thing is that while we perceive getting incredible designer furniture from China as being a blessing from heaven, my Hong Kong colleagues are all shocked and appalled that I would "buy dangerous and bad quality products from China" as "everything from China is terribly made and really really bad".

Another colleague of mine said, "Look, g, it's ok if you buy things that look pretty, but don't buy anything that has to carry weight or that might kill somebody if it falls. Because if it's from Tao Bao, then it probably will."

Great. So with that local vote of confidence, T and I threw ourselves into buying low-danger, high aesthetic appeal items. The only teensy weensy detail is that you have to understand Mandarin to use Tao Bao. And Google Chrome only gets you halfway there e.g. "product" is translated as "baby"... slightly confusing.

You also need to be able to chat online with the sellers to find out important things like "well, if you buy the eames chair in white, then it's made out of white plastic, but if you buy it black, then we spray paint it black for you." Good to know.

Another tall lamp thing

p.s. Yes, I finally got an iPhone after I left my Nokia in Cape Town and my Blackberry got stolen in the sheet section at IKEA

p.p.s Many thanks to our friend M.A. who introduced us to the Tao Bao shopping experience

Decluttering gone wild

Picture pulled from Dead Fleurette: http://www.deadfleurette.com/2011/04/closet-organization.html

With all the excitement and anticipation of building a 'real' home, I've been channeling my energy into scouring apartment design blogs for ideas. One thing that comes up again and again and again is this whole idea of "de-cluttering". Seems that a lot of us are keeping things forever that we've never worn, never look at it and are blocking our chakras and energy flow.

So, after reading many a blog post, I rolled up my sleeves and set upon the task of emptying out my life and holding onto (read making space for) the essentials. For inspiration on the subject, read: Breaking up with your belongings, deciding to keep or purge; closet organization. Or google "decluttering" - you have about 2 million sites to choose from.

So, out went all my high heels which I can't walk in. I gave them to the maid who must be a size 32, so I can't begin to imagine what she's going to do with a size 41 other than sell them or use them for storage. Out went my H&M T-shirts that I never wear. Out went all the dresses which I love but t gags at every time I put on - what's the point of having clothes your husband can't stand? Although I don't see anything wrong with going out in a cream baby doll evening dress. Out went all the handbags I bought at Topshop thinking they were cool and then realising they're just cheap.

And then came the strange idiosyncrasies - why do I have 3 grey dresses? What's with all the blue striped shirts that I never wear? 4 beach sarongs?? Anyway, they've gone now. All to the maid who I hope has tall friends or knows how to sew.

The problem with all this decluttering, is that before you know it, you can't stop. The endorphins are incredible and so much more enjoyable that dragging yourself to the gym. So after tackling my clothes, I moved onto magazines and then onto the fridge. In my obviously drugged state, I over zealously asked the same maid in question to "empty the fridge and throw everything away!" I requested this by SMS from the office, without actually having checked what we had in the fridge beforehand.

I don't want to go there, but I'm struggling to shake the image of t's horrified face when he opened the fridge door to find all his cheese, orange juice and truffle oil gone. Adios.

Feeling rather sheepish and have been instructed not to dispose of anything for the next few days, until my peptide levels have stabalised.

South Africa (again)

Yes I know I posted about our trip to South Africa last Chinese New Year, and that this is all terribly dull. However, we went to a new spot, so I thought I'd share.

We went to Paternoster, where I'd never been before. It's renowned for its crayfish and picturesque fishing village-feel, and had been highly recommended by my parents. But we hadn't quite expected the long, secluded beaches, the rugged coastline and the insanely delicious food.

Deserted beaches

Delicious mid-morning snack of crabs-in-sand await seagulls

Paternoster town. Very beautiful. And very quiet.

Noisy Oyster restaurant through wine goggles. Can't recommend it more highly. Book ahead!

Then we went on to Franscheok to recover from the salty air.

And then to Camps Bay to finish off the trip.

p.s.

No trip would be a holiday if some of us couldn't attempt suicide in 25 knot winds

Other lip-smacking, scrumptious food was enjoyed at:

Bizerca - French business euro crowd. We wore flip flops. Will wear stilettos next time

Round House - Delicious picnics in garden overlooking the sea

La Petit Ferme - Vineyard fantastically froggy food. Wish I'd bought the cookbook

Noisy Oyster - Oysters, mussels alive alive oh. Wine glasses are the size of pint glasses, so sleep nearby

Where to sleep:

Abalone in Paternoster - lobby is strangely decorated by what seems to be an Italian zebra. Rooms are divine though. Home made rusks and muesli in the morning

La Petite Dauphine - Swanky cottages on a vineyard. Take a dip in the pool before sundowners

Where to kite surf (boredom alert for gfriends - buy magazines and get a coke float at nearest bar)

Langeban - Windchaser Greek guys rent the kites and tell you where to stay when you go to Greece

Blouberg: Not as windy but good ice-cream from the softy trucks

All pictures taken by t

Ode to Boom Boom

Having never really seen the point in living in over 1000 square feet, T and I have now finally taken the plunge and decided to move to a bigger place. We've always prided ourselves in not owning anything, and in being able to pack our entire lives up into one small truck should the need arise. But now that we're hitting 30 odd, we've agreed that being able to reach the cupboard from your bed perhaps isn't all that cool anymore.

So we're moving. To a loft. At the top end of town. With enough space to host a ping pong tournament. So we're pleased, and a little daunted at the prospect of not being under each other's toes all the time. Not knowing what page of each other's books we're on...

So, as a last goodbye, and before I turn this blog into a home decor blog for the next month, I thought I'd share some photos of our beloved, and tiny, Boom Boom Apt, which we are sad to part with, but not sad enough to stay!

Boom Boom's very own slate terrace where you could enjoy the sun and the neighbours could also enjoy it through you vicariously.

View

600 square feet (50 square metres) of splendour

Hanging kitchen in the background. Goat on chair.

Note corner of bed has shin guards on.

"Spare room" with "spare sheep"

So, as we move into a place that's three times the size of this, I look forward to boring you with details on furniture, interior design and DIY.

Broody? Who?

As I sat on the plane from Paris back to Hong Kong, I was feeling unusually broody. After two weeks in London, Paris and Val D'isere with various friends and family and all their angelic children, I was starting to warm to the idea of creating my own little saintly darlings.

My friends in London seem to have all produced babies that don't cry and children that say please and thank you before you've even given them anything. My new French siblings in-law have managed to perform a similar miracle which I witnessed when all 9 of their offspring between the ages of 3 and 9, were left to silently draw and play throughout our entire Christmas lunch and post perennial drinking. We then went skiing with more siblings-in laws and their various French friends who, despite having 3 kids each, seemed to live their lives quite independently of them, thanks to ski school and firm discipline.

So, given this rather encouraging generation of children (and parents?), who wouldn't think that having one's own might be a good idea? But then it only takes the two little buggers and their role model of a mother behind you on the British Airways plane to Heathrow to remind you that maybe we don't need to be in such a hurry afterall...

Liam: "Maaaaaaaaaaaammm, look, look, we're going doooooooooooooowwwwwwn. Look mum, there's a fire on the wing. look. look. look."
Note increasing panic in the cabin.
Mum: "Stop it, Liam."
Liam: "But look, the buses are getting bigga and evryfink. Oh look, look!"
Liam kicks the back of my seat enthusiastically.
Rosie: "Pull on the red strap if there's an emergency. Mum, should we pull on vis?"
Mum: "Ssshhh, Rosie."
Liam: "Pull on the red strap if you hate your sister!"
Rosie: "Pull on the red strap if you hate your bother! Yaaaayyyy!!!!"
Mum: "Rosie, I've had enuf. You've been at it the whole flight. I've had it and so has everyone else"

Well, that's one way to successfully quell any maternal instincts.

This post was written on the Cathay Pacific lounge computer in Heathrow while munching on "English Cheddar and Red Onion Crisps". Font might be off as well as everything else.