The Hilfigers

It's one thing to look at Tommy Hilfiger's ads and another to actually be a Hilfiger ad. We have had the misfortune of having a group of guys, who look, act and sound like a Hilfiger ad, move into the flat across the road from us.

Up until a month ago, T and I enjoyed a perfectly peaceful view overlooking the sea. The flat in front and below us has always been occupied, but like most of our neighbours (except the rather large family behind us who specially enjoy having dinner with the windows open), they have pretty much kept to themselves. Until now.

The Hilfigers, in their pink shorts, v-neck t-shirts and 1930s hairdos, spend much of their time on their rooftop (under our noses) posing, sunning themselves and staring up at our living room. In the evenings, they do push ups, eat pasta, drink wine and then invite all their friends over (think ray bans, white hats and chino trousers) for drinks..on the roof again.

Meanwhile, I've taken to ducking and diving as I go from shower to bedroom and T huffs and puffs more than usual, exclaiming "oh I just can't bare it!" at a moment's notice. Even the sheep is looking a little strained.

It could, however, be a lot worse. I Googled "intrusive neighbours" and found that our problem is so completely insignificant next to what other poor souls are dealing with. One woman wrote about constantly finding her uninvited neighbour in her kitchen, munching on biscuits. While another one has the neighbour's open loo window at eye level with their garden.

So, until they move back to wherever they came from, we're just going to have to pretend we're the privileged audience of a private viewing of a Tommy Hilfiger fashion film - which is, after all, all the rage now, darling.