Proper names

The South China Morning Post always juices up a story with little morsels on the societal roles of the people involved. These roles, however, change depending on what that person was actually doing either before, or after, the newsworthy event occurred.

So, if you're a doctor, you might be reduced to 'dog owner', if the story involves you and your dog. But if you're on your way to work, you'll probably get your job title e.g. from paper yesterday:

Deadly smash. Three people were thrown from the vehicle by the force of the crash. One was a butcher on his way to work.

This got me thinking. What would they describe me as if I got involved in some newsworthy story? If something happened on the way to a non job interview, what would they write? Eager job candidate trips on future employer's stairs? And coming back from the flower market? Gardener drops buganvilla on toe? And on my way to the personal trainer? Wannabe athlete skids down stairs on her way to luxury trainer?

And the rest of the time.. what if I'm not going anywhere really?

Today I'm 'managing' furniture assembly. Read opening the door and serving tea. Foreman?